saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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