you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
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Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
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