Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
