her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
