she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize