Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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