I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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