He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
