Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize
