In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
