My balls are so social today.
it's like iHOP with fire
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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