We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
