I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Me too!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize