You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
