Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
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