my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
