Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Having a random hookup so left but love u
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize
