It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
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