Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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