I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
