i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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