fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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