Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
