I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
