Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Randomize
