Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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