No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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