singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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