If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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