On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
