Plan B is the new Plan A
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
