Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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