I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
