look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
