their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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