I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
