Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"

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(714): View more from California

Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.

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(307): View more from Wyoming

Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk

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(702): View more from Nevada

She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(562): View more from California

I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.

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(210): View more from Texas

I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.

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(586): View more from Michigan

I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now

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