Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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