Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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