Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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