so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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