We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
this hospital has no fireball
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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