We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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