We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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