You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
