mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
