I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
