it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize