Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
