How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
