Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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