There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
So. Much. Porn.
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