CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I love you.
Bad choice
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