Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize