I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
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