super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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