i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
