I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
MIDGETS
????
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
