After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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