If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize