I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
