Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
My bed smells like the plague
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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