I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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