If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
