420 ftw
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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