You did not just play the dead husband card again.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Randomize
