i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
