If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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