I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
