i barfeds in our rink
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
